I don't know where to go from here.
Physically, I know exactly where I am located. Mentally and emotionally, I have no clue where I am or where I am going to end up.
I love my beautiful children and I love my husband but I am far from loving myself. My new self. This person who is left after death and birth. I feel so different than I did before but nothing else seems to have changed.
Still, almost 6 months later, I catch myself thinking that this is all a horrible nightmare. Then I look at my beautiful baby girl and I know that God has given me a gift - the gift of life. I feel so selfish. I want to feel better. I want to not miss him so much. I want to stop crying. Every. Single. Day.