Sunday, October 17, 2010


I don't know where to go from here.

Physically, I know exactly where I am located. Mentally and emotionally, I have no clue where I am or where I am going to end up.

I love my beautiful children and I love my husband but I am far from loving myself.  My new self.  This person who is left after death and birth.  I feel so different than I did before but nothing else seems to have changed.

Still, almost 6 months later, I catch myself thinking that this is all a horrible nightmare.  Then I look at my beautiful baby girl and I know that God has given me a gift - the gift of life.  I feel so selfish.  I want to feel better.  I want to not miss him so much.  I want to stop crying.  Every. Single. Day.

1 comment:

  1. Im so sorry you feel like this it has to be real hard to miss one and have one fresh and new. i will put you in my prayers.


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