Weighing In

So, it has been a week since I first weighed in and so I was not looking forward to stepping onto the scale this morning, but I did it anyway.  I now weigh 204.4 lbs; only lost 2.4 lbs in the first week.  Not great.  Not what I was hoping for, but at least I didn't gain weight I guess.  Probably didn't help that we had two parties this weekend, though I didn't eat any chips and only had a small brownie yesterday.  I just couldn't say "no" on the Fourth of July!  I should have, though, but I doubt it would have made me lose much more.  Oh well.  I did pretty well on eating better and my husband and I definitely connected more this week.  Helps that he is off of work Friday through tomorrow, so we are able to spend good quality time together.  I didn't do well with the being active portion of my goals.  Took the kids to the zoo on Wednesday but other than that it has been extremely hot and humid here in Michigan so I just have not felt like doing anything outside. My gym membership has been re-activated, however, so I have no excuses for not going to work out...my husband is home to watch the kids so I should be going to the gym every day!  I have failed to acheive my goal this week.  When my husband is home and we are all together I find it very difficult to just leave and take time for myself.  I don't know why this is and it is very annoying to me at the end of the day.  Why can't I just take time for me?  What is wrong with me?  I know I should, but I get caught up in changing diapers, washing bottles, doing laundry, etc. and then I am too tired and very unmotivated.  I definitely will have to work on getting active this week, though it is already 90 degrees out and it is only 10am here.  Ugh.  I guess I will have to get to the gym, somehow.  Part of it is too that since I haven't been in a while, I am not sure what to do when I get there.  What if I see the personal trainer who first helped me out?  Will she judge me for putting all of the weight back on?  I probably shouldn't care what she thinks but I do.

Hope you all had a wonderful 4th of July yesterday!  We spent it at my Mom's house helping her fix up some things around the house that my Dad didn't get around to doing before he passed away.  I missed him so much yesterday.  Well, I miss him every day, but when we are all there at the house it just hurts more.  I have flashbacks to playing baseball with him in the yard, getting wheelbarrow rides down the road and learning to ride my bike.  I thought that he would be around to do all of these same things with my children and I get extremely upset and sad all over again knowing that he will not be there, he is gone forever.  I would give anything to hug him right now and see his smile.  He was so kind to me and really took the time to be a father.  I love him so much and just really miss him right now.