Seriously, I NEED Help!!!

Kaitlyn will NOT nap during the day.  I really have no clue what to do.  I have tried both extremes.  I have tried feeding her until she falls asleep then put her in her crib and she wakes up either immediately or within 10 minutes.  I have tried the wake, feed, activity, sleep method (Babywise) and she won't fall asleep when I just leave her in the crib wide awake.  She won't.  What do I do?  I am so frustrated and she is so tired.  Then there is working my son's nap in because he still gets up at the crack of dawn so he HAS to take a nap during the day.  How do all of you mommys deal with a toddler who has to take naps and a newborn who won't take naps?  I feel horrible for Kaitlyn.  She is so tired.  I have also tried the swing.  At 4:45pm today I fed her, she fell asleep after eating 2 oz so I put her in her swing and she woke up 10 minutes later and is now just sitting there fussing and making noises like "Hey, Mom, can't you figure out how to help me yet?  You're the Mom; that's what you're supposed to be good at.".

My husband either doesn't think this is a big deal or he doesn't believe me that she doesn't nap when he is at work.  I get it that he has to work to support our family and I greatly appreciate this, but like today he got to go to a Detroit Tigers game for work while I'm pacing our house bouncing Kaitlyn trying to figure out how to get her to nap and my son is working every last nerve I have left.

I feel very alone and I don't feel like I have anyone to turn to even to just vent, so I'm doing it here.  My mom has too much on her plate right now and I really don't want to burden her anymore than I already do.  This would be a classic time where I would call my dad to talk but since he died I just feel lost.  I miss him so much during these times when I feel like I can't do any more than I'm already doing.  I lose my patience so easy these days because I'm so worried about Kaitlyn not napping and therefore not getting enough time to grow and develop.  I feel like a horrible mommy.  My son won't eat anything and he wakes up super early...my daughter won't nap and is not her normally happy self.  I feel very disconnected from myself and my life.  Can someone please offer some advice?  I'm not looking for a debate on sleeping or feeding schedules, just some helpful things I could try.  Thanks so much. 

Not so sure I'll be working out tonight as I had originally planned this morning when everything seemed much more possible.

Frustration

Kaitlyn has been such a great sleeper at night and has been going down for the night so wonderfully since she was born.  I was convinced that God knew I couldn't handle another baby like my son.  He didn't sleep in his crib until he was 6 months old!  Don't ask.  With my father passing away suddenly, I was thinking that her being a good sleeper at night was literally his doing.  Well, now, not so much.  The past two nights she has been getting up more often and tonight she has woken up three times since we put her down for bed at 7pm...it's only 9:15pm.  I am a naturally worrisome person, which I hate but have always been, and I'm so afraid that her awesome nighttime sleeping is coming to an end.  It was a great 2 and 1/2 months, I guess.

She doesn't nap during the day in her crib, no matter what I do, so I know she is tired and probably overtired, but I have tried everything.  I can't just sit in her room with her the whole day trying to get her to nap because my son is here to and I can't just leave him alone all day long.  The only way I've been getting her to nap is in her swing and I know that is not good, but it's the only thing I have right now.  And she will only nap in it once a day for me for a few hours.  She is definitely not getting enough sleep, so what do I do?  I don't want to hold her all day.  I have tried putting her in the BabyBjorn and the Slingling I have, but she cries, even if she is in a good mood when I put her in them.

I'm totally frustrated right this second and hope I'm just overreacting or reading too much into these last few nights.  My husband doesn't appear to care about a schedule, so it's up to me.  I told him when he got home from work tonight that she should go to bed because of the no naps...he kept her up another hour or so.  I know he wants to see her since he didn't all day long, so what do I do?  Help!

Heading to bed.  Don't know how much sleep I'll get.  Screw my goals for today.